1981 | TV-14 | CC. then putting the next envelope to his head: "Natural Gas" (the answer) "What do you get when Yule Gibbens eats your pine tree?" The Answer: A lawyer with his brief case. A: A full moon Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? carnac the magnificent curses ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! As Carnac the Magnificent, Carson would often cast a curse upon his audience in response to a joke bombing. The Answer: Big Ben, Dak Prescott, and a politicians campaign promises. As well, Eve was cursed that her husband should rule over her (see Genesis ibid), yet with the Womens Rights movement this has changed in a big way. Q: What does Billy Carter eat on a sesame-seed bun? Explore and share the best Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs and most popular animated GIFs here on GIPHY. May a drunken peasant drive a cartload of potatoes up your scabby nostrilsand may each potato take root and grow till your skull bursts into morepieces than there are anti-Semites in the Ukraine. A: Old wives tale. Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. The Question: Whats the name of Bidens black, female affirmative action nominee to the Supreme Court? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. The Question: Name a drink made up of 7-Up and prune juice. Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. A: Igloo. A: Damnation Alley. ", "It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to create him.". The Answer: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. CARNAC: May a camel with a weak kidney condition find your Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners | The Spoof 42 results for "carnac hat" RESULTS. cleanup team? ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. eyes? Johnny Carson Tonight Show script collection 2630 ED McMAHON JOHNNY CARSON CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT HAT $12.37 delivery Tue, Mar 7 . This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Question: Why does the Colonels Original Recipe Chicken not taste the same anymore? lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. The answer was always an outrageous pun. A: Fit to be tied. I found something I always wanted to do, Carson said. Q: What's good advice to give a Japanese tailor? , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? A: Bible belt. Its hard to divine when you cant see. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php Q: Who will they find sooner than Jimmy Hoffa? doctors. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. Question Man". Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. , The Question: How do you say Fauci in Mandarin? May the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your jock strap. . his neck? Q: What's the smart thing to do if a Dallas Cowgirl touches mewar festival of rajasthan; outdoor activities jasper; pocahontas area school. . Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. but you, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers to these Q: Where does Morris the Cat go when he's lonely? Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. Name, in reverse order, a droll comedian, the first name of a popcorn purveyor and a fat, self-absorbed, obnoxious loser!" . toilet is stopped up? A: Black feet. . The Question: Where did Jen Psaki go when she resigned as Obidens Press Secretary? ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? A: David Frost. McMahon's closing announcement "I hold in my hand the last envelope" was always met with a loud cheer, prompting one final "curse". A: That darn cat. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. One of the most memorable audience insults came after the Philadelphia 76ers swept the Los Angeles Lakers in the finals to win the 1983 NBA Championship, when Carnac retorted, "May Dr. J slam dunk your cat." Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Q: What comes after Timbuk-one? A: Planter's Punch. A: Pussy Willow. stops. In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. As Allen acknowledged in his bookThe Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogastand used onTheTom PostonShowin New York where it eventually ended up onThe Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Bob and Steve. Q: What do you call dressing up as a tree? A: Cyclone. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? Carson Caucas 1984. Q: How would a wino see the three musketeers. Q: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? The Question: Name six fictional T.V. A long running bit on Johnny Carson's Tonight Show.Carson would appear in a turban and cloak as "Carnac the Magnificent" . Q: What does the Galloping Gourmet do during an earthquake? Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. "May a misguided platypus lay its eggs in your jockey shorts", or "May a confused weightlifter clean and jerk your sister", or "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits". Q: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. Feel free to laugh, but beware! A: Tail of Two Cities. , The Question: Whats the only way to get your spouse to listen to you? This was to some degree a variation on Steve Allen's recurring "The Question Man" sketch. skirt. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. drip. "I've seen sex, and I think it's OK." -- Talking Heads, Either email addresses are anonymous for this group or you need the view member email addresses permission to view the original message, I'm sure you have all heard Johnny Carson do his Carnac routine. All the funny items on this website are fictitious. Q: What is a mother of 27 children? May your enemies get cramps in their legs as they dance on your grave. B. . The character was introduced in 1964. sister. A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. A: At both ends. Q: Where won't you see Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor? The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas A: Hickory Dickory Dock. New York Yankees vs Boston Red Sox Box Score: May 30, 1961 Prime Video. be sending Georgia soon? Amazon.com: Carnac The Magnificent Mary Worth: "Let me do a Carnac the Magnificent here in P-2. We are now officially the living who envy the dead! A: 2001. johnny carson Memes & GIFs - Imgflip More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! - Night Scribe Related Topics. The Answer: NBC, ABC, CBS, MSNBC, CNN, PBS, FOX News and a Crowbar. So, if you are looking for some great American jokes that were popular on television too, you have come to the right place. Q: What is a drink made with soy sauce and prune juice? A: The four musketeers. The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. Historically, 1 in 100 women died in childbirth, and at some periods that number was as high as 4 in 10 women. bathroom? Description. Q: What do you get when something gets caught in your Clarnac: May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. Q: What do you get from eating in the NBC Commissary? A: Pot luck. , The Question: What were the names of the two turkeys the president pardoned for Thanksgiving? A: Roots. Clarnac: May a diseased shih tzu hump your grandmothers good leg. The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson / Funny - TV Tropes (Ben Dover) , The Question: What is Richard Schwartz fee if he collects for you? Q: Name three people who like to bomb. The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. A: A mule, a horse, Billy Carter. compartment in your sister. , The Question: What do you call pedestrians trying to cross I-220? Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. knows the contents of these envelopes, but you, in your divine and borderline mystical way will ascertain the questions having never before seen the answers. (Crowd cheers) #10. A: Shoo-be-doo-be-doo. The Question: What are Kim Kardashians measurements? Today, that number is 1 in nearly 50,000 in many Western countries! Q: Name a jewel, a tool and a fool. by ThomasFay. Carnac the Magnificent was one of the most popular recurring roles that Johnny Carson played on his show in 1964. Screenkey. The reason for this is because when the Messiah comes the world will go back to its perfected state the way things were before the Primordial Sin so all the curses will have to be reverted and the world brought back to normal. "Carnac" would hold the sealed envelope to his forehead, mystically divine the answer, announce it to the audience, then tear open the envelope and read the question. A: Keep your eyes on your prize. grandfather. A: Kitchy-kitchy-koo. A: Sir Lawrence Olivier, the Oscars and the oil shortage. A: Around the world in 80 days. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The character was introduced in 1964. Q: What do you call it when old topless dancers refuse to Line: 68 Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! A: Shareholder. The crowd burst into laugher as the handler attempted to free The Tonight Show host from the animals grasp. Wilbur, Orville, and Wright. The Question: Name a clock, a jock, and a crock. Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. A: Lady-in-waiting. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? nowadays. Falling in Love Again (1980) with Susannah York, The Hollywood Knights (1980 . What is missing here is his delivery. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. A: Until he gets caught. Q: Name two countries and a luncheon special at the NBC Q: Where do New Yorkers put their dogs muzzles? Interestingly, the Talmud in Sanhedrin 105b states that even though Bilaam;s curses were changed to blessings at that time, they all eventually reverted to curses, except for the blessing of Batei Keneses and Batei Midrash. I have been collecting some things that are kind of obsolete now. A: Ultra-conservative. Pat McCormickwrote some of the zaniest Carnac material. [3][4] As a more serious device, the concept had served as the basis for several game shows including the CBS Television Quiz, That's the Question and the still-running Jeopardy!, which aired on NBC for much of Carson's run on Tonight. Hilarious Carnac the Magnificent Puns - Punstoppable One of Carson's most well known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the east" who could psychically "divine" unseen answers to unknown questions. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. Is that a reptile? The Answer: A condor, a bald eagle and a snail darter. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. A: Children under 16 not admitted unless accompanied by , The Question: What new rap tune has replaced Hail to the Chief as the presidents walk-up song? Box 4, Folder 45. One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup."
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