texas birthday quotes

Hes been saucered and blowed.He sure cleaned your plow. I like the image Texas brings to mind-that of bigness, of strength, of goodness. - The US death toll from . A Great Day Bagso you can carry what you need with you (like your camera, snacks, water, sunscreen, cash, etc). I feel sorry for you. Texas is an obsession. . So whether youre looking for travel inspiration or Texas Instagram captions or Facebook statuses, here are my favorite Texas quotes! Whether quotes about its wide, starry skies or sayings about its rough way of life, Texas has a way of staying on your mind. Texas is Texas. William Blakely, People dont live in Austin to work. Herere the best Texas sayings, quotes, and expressions. Pigs get fat; hogs get slaughtered.A worm is the only animal that cant fall down.Never sign nothing by neon.Just because a chicken has wings dont mean it can fly.Keep your saddle oiled and your gun greased.You cant get lard unless you boil the hog.If you cut your own firewood, itll warm you twice.Theres more than one way to break a dog from sucking eggs.Give me the bacon without the sizzle.Dont hang your wash on someone elses line.Do Gods will, whatever the hell it may be.Lick that calf again? Oprah Winfrey God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well. Editors note: This article was first published in print in 1994. Birthday Quotes Comedians Alan Gastelum "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. Happy Birthday. -Sissy Spacek, In Texas, we practically come out of the womb in jeans. Wishing you a birthday as wonderful as you are. A scoundrel is "greasy as fried lard"; a summer. He shoots off his mouth so much he must eat bullets for breakfast. Congratulations on surviving another year on this planet. You don't know the Lone Star State until you've experienced Gruene Hall. The Lone Star State is a unique place. Some sayings are instantly familiar because our parents or grandparents quoted them; others parallel the indisputable wisdom of biblical proverbs or Poor Richards Almanac; plenty just make us laugh. Looks like hell with everyone out to lunch.Out where the buses dont run. hapy birthday greetings typography with ornament iilustration. I will pray that you receive more than you have hoped for this birthday. History Fangirl is a participant in the Amazon Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. Texas Stock Photos . Indeed, it's the friendliest way to say "Happy Birthday.". Hissy fit. Looking for beautiful quotes about Texas? My heart felt wishes and blessings are coming your way on the wonderful occasion of your birthday. You will also find plenty of Texas sayings about being from here or living here. I thought it was a joke. 1. Texans represent many things to the uninitiated: We are bigger than life in our boots and Stetsons, rugged individualists whose two-steppin has achieved world-wide acclaim, and we were the first to define hospitality. Ann Richards. birthday psd clipart gold. May your birthday overflow with downy teddy bears, the comfiest blankets and the loveliest cake ever. 800-810-1617 gograph@gograph.com; Login. Top Nashville Sayings for Instagram. Hope your year is better than those ears! He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity. My current favorite is thePacsafe Citysafe, which is especially great for Texas because it has many anti-theft features designed to deter pickpockets in Texas cities. Texas is a state of mind. May your birthday be as sweet as you are. The Texanist: Is It Okay For Non-Texans to Say Howdy? When compared with all the other happy birthday quotes, this one is especially unique. Getty A police officer walks outside of the closed Alamo on April 1, 2020 in downtown San Antonio, Texas, during a stay at home order amid the novel coronavirus outbreak. He stays in the shadow of his mamas apron.If he was melted down, he couldnt be poured into a fight.Hes first cousin to Moses Rose.He wouldnt bite a biscuit.Hes yellow as mustard but without the bite.He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. AUSONIUS )He learned to whisper in a sawmill. Ive traveled all over the world, but I dont think there is any place better than Texas. Red Adair, No place like Texas would I ever roam. Wishing you a texas sized birthday. And memories to store. All over the world, traveling Texans tend to identify as Texan rather than American, because, well, we get treated like celebrities when we do. Elizabeth Abrahamsen. Got any more Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, or slogans you like? As you get older, three things happen: The first is your memory goes, and I. He may not be a chicken, but he has his henhouse ways. Check out my Balkan Travel Blog + Oklahoma Travel Blog, 50 Stunning Hawaii Quotes & Hawaii Instagram Caption Inspiration, 101 Quotes about Los Angeles & LA Quotes that Make Perfect LA Instagram Captions, 50 Inspirational Kansas Quotes for Kansas Instagram Captions & Statuses, 101 Gorgeous Quotes About California & Fabulous California Instagram Captions, 250 Inspirational Travel Quotes & Travel Instagram Captions, 101 Fabulous Quotes about New York & New York Instagram Captions, 30 Beautiful Chicago Quotes & Chicago Instagram Caption Inspiration, 13 Inspirational Colorado Quotes & Colorado Instagram Inspiration, The Best Texas Quotes & Texas Instagram Captions. At Texas Swingers Clubs, the Lifestyle Is Booming, My Brothers Ashes, the Bayou, and an Enigmatic Life, What Is Left to Say About Waco? Wish you a memorable day and an adventurous year, Happy birthday. He wasnt born, just squeezed out of a bartenders rag.Drunker than who shot John.Snot-slinging drunk.Drunk as Cooter Brown.Drunk as a skunk.Dont chop any wood tonight; Daddys coming home with a load.Tighter than bark on a log.Ive got the whistlebelly thumps and skull cramps. Today is the most important day of my life. Unknown Author. Need Texas sayings about girls from Texas? Dream big and make them true, so that one-day people get inspired by your sheer guts. I wish you a lovely day, not just today because it is your birthday, but all year round. Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. And all that you would do. Go shawty! Count your age by friends, not years. What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? You are such a sweetheart babe! They work to live there. Robert Rodriguez (this is one of our favorite Austin quotes! I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans." - Billy Clayton Quotes About Texans One day, behind a general store in Central Texas, a firearms instructor in a wide-brimmed cowboy hat reached for the butt of his holster as I approached him for an interview. Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. They get inspired by them. And what could possibly be a better way to talk about this state than discussing its funny Texas sayings, quotes, expressions, and jokes? Hes on a first-name basis with the bottom of the deck.So crooked that if he swallowed a nail hed spit up a corkscrew.So crooked you cant tell from his tracks if hes coming or going.He knows more ways to take your money than a roomful of lawyers.Crooked as a dogs hind leg.Crooked as the Brazos.Slicker than a slop jar.More twists than a pretzel factory.Crooked as a barrel of fish hooks.So crooked he has to unscrew his britches at night.Shes more slippery than a pocketful of pudding.Hes slicker than a boiled onion.I wouldnt trust him any farther than I can throw him. 1. He broke his arm patting himself on the back.He thinks the sun comes up just to hear him crow.Id like to buy him for what hes worth and sell him for what he thinks hell bring.Shes so spoiled salt couldnt save her.Shes so spoiled she expects spoon-feeding. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof.Noisy as a restless mule in a tin barn.Noisier than cats making kittens.Noisier than a cornhusk mattress.Louder than Grandpas Sunday tie.He called his hogs all night. No matter how tough things get, she's seen tougher. "Put candles in a cake, it's a birthday cake. There Are No Two Sides in Texass Fiery Truck Debate, At Brownsvilles Annual Grito Contest, Its All About Yelling Your Heart Out, The Astrodomes Decline From Eighth Wonder to Eighth Blunder of the World, Mosquito Hawks Are Flitting All Over Texas, I Biked the I-35 Hell Route From Austin to San Antonio So You Dont Have To. Still, we put together a good number of phrases and quotes about Texas for yall. It also transitions to a nightbag more easily and wont embarrass you if you go to dinner directly after sightseeing all day. -Cherie Priest, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Even if theyre not American, people know about Texas. Happy Birthday, my sugar lumps! Raised on concrete.Doesnt know a bit from a butt.You dont live longer in the city; it just seems that way. Ron Brackin, I didnt drive eleven hours across the state of Texas to watch my cholesterol. It is time to party! Hope your birthday cake is as sweet as you! - Unknown. Sam Houston. Today you are you! You mean the world to me, on your birthday and every day. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Tight as Dicks hatband.Tight as a tick.Tight as a clothesline.Tight as a fiddle string.Tight as wallpaper.Tight as a wet boot.Tight enough to raise a blister.So tight he squeaks when he walks.Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams.She has short arms and deep pockets. I was going to get you a present, but I figured my presence was enough of a gift. : Janine Turner, There is a special mystique to Texas. -John Steinbeck, Dont mess with Texas. Red dirt never quite washes out, and pine pollen is tenacious as original sin. And there's an opening convey of generalities. Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, The definition of insanity in Texas is so insane that its impossible to be insane in Texas. Malcolm McDowell. Shes got a bun in the oven.Shes sitting on the nest.Shes got one in the chute.Shes been storked. -Doc Holliday, When a lady accessorizes in here in Texas, shes selecting caliber, not color. -Pat Green, You dont just move to Texas. Make your friends and family chuckle with these sayings, or make them laugh out loud with funny 60th birthday quotes.Witty quotes can also make great slogans for 60th . (Snored. Apocalypse Sow: Can Anything Stop the Feral Hog Invasion? The Texanist: Is My Husbands Devotion to Texas-Branded Foods Crazy? But did you know that there are many other famous quotes about Texas and sayings that make perfect captions for social media posts or Instagram stories? Happy Birthday For Him Happy Birthday Greetings Birthday Greeting Cards Birthday Gifts Birthday Messages Birthday Images Happy Birthday Harley Davidson Texas Independence Day Bday Quotes -James Michener. All hat, no cattle. On this day, an amazing person came into the world. (A hangover. You may all go to Hell, and I will go to Texas -Davy Crockett, Texas is neither southern nor western. Your advancement in years is a progression into the plans and purpose of God for you. "The way I see it, you should live every day like it's your birthday." Paris Hilton "A birth-date is a reminder to celebrate the life as well as to update the life." Amit Kalantri "Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come." Lucy Larcom "Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed." When: March 4-5. for that talkative friend. But what the hell? Inspiring Birthday Quotes "God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well." Voltaire "You were born an original. Anybody who wanders around the world saying, Hell yes, Im from Texas, deserves whatever happens to him. Hunter S. Thompson, the journalist, The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. 3. Texas is a place that has provided inspiration to everyone from musicians, artists, singers, painters, and dancers to elites in science, technology, and politics. Even a blind hog can find an acorn once in a while.Anytime you happen to pass my house, Id sure appreciate it.What did you do with the money your mama gave you for singing lessons?Were you raised in a barn?Put that in your pipe and smoke it.Even the chickens under the porch know that.You smell like you want to be left alone.Go peddle your own produce.Go cork your pistol.If you break your leg, dont come running to me.Whatever greases your wagon. Leave them blank to get signed up. Preaching to the choir.Burning daylight.Arguing with a wooden Indian.Whistling up the wind.Hollering down a well. Quick Facts FULL NAME: Barbara Jordan BORN: February 21, 1936 DIED: January 17, 1996 HOMETOWN: Houston, Texas ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Pisces Early Life A groundbreaking African American politician,. When the passions have relaxed their hold, you may have escaped, not from one master but from many." Pope John XXIII: "Men are like wine. Trust us, it's worse than dogs. For all the smiles you put on my face and the people around. No place like Texas, my home, sweet home. Willie Nelson, And finally, the last and the best Texas quote yet. -Jensen Ackles, Texas is like Australia with the handbrake off. Most Texans know about the references to the Lone Star State size in Texas quotes and sayings. 6. 3. I love Texas too well to bring civil strife and bloodshed upon her. AS AN AMAZON AFFILIATE, WE EARN FROM QUALIFYING PURCHASES, 70+ Interesting and Fun Facts about Texas, 21 Best Things to do in Sugar Land, Texas, 13 Best Things to do at Inks Lake State Park, Texas. -Davy Crockett, Thats why I like Texans so much. I Had to Fight My Way Up" - Patrick Swayze Long live the dirty dancing Patrick Swayze! Happy birthday! We report on vital issues from politics to education and are the indispensable authority on the Texas scene, covering everything from music to cultural events with insightful recommendations. Noisy as two skeletons dancing on a tin roof. Texas gains her second RIIC Skill at Elite 2. Happy birthday to my favorite person who's still younger than me! He's yellow as mustard but without the bite. Best Funny & Humorous Happy Birthday Wishes "Texas is the finest portion of the globe that has blessed my vision.". It means you're no fool. In Texas, there is a certain honor of being a Texan that is doing something the best that you can. Matthew McConaughey, Texans aint Texans if they arent willing to boast about the state they call home. Anon, The sky in Texas is the most amazing sky in the whole world. These funny 60th birthday quotes will give any birthday guy or gal a good giggle on their special day. If I live to see your grandchildren, I'm going to tell them all the Birthday pranks we played on you every year. 16. Y'all is the southern contraction of you all, and it's meant to be used for when you're addressing more than one person. "May you be gifted with life's biggest joys and never-ending bliss. No membership required. 70 sounds old, but when I look at you, I still see a lot of youth in you. Did you hear me? Fat as a boardinghouse cat.Fat as a town dog.Shes warm in winter, shady in summer.He dont care what you call him as long as you call him to supper.So big he looks like he ate his brother.So big he has to sit down in shifts.Big as Brewster County.Big as Dallas.Big as a Brahma bull.Shed rather shake than rattle.Hes big enough to bear hunt with a branch.Hes all spread out like a cold supper.Wide as two ax handles.Hell eat anything that dont eat him first. Austin, Texas is the subject of many popular quotes, sayings, and slogans! What to make of a state that is so focused on itself? If hes not, why embarrass him by asking? That Texas pride really shines through in these quotes. Funny Birthday Cake Quotes. -Lindsay McElwee, Texaswas evidently the only place in the known universe, including Louisiana, that actually got hotter after the sun went down. The sky is the limit for you. Birthday Wishes quotes I'm taking your birthday as an opportunity to thank you for all that you are to me. After you're done reading them, vote for the ones that you've enjoyed the most and share this article with anyone stuck writing a birthday note! -Rosemary Kent, At the risk of descending to unscientific generalizations, 90 percent of Texans give the other 10 percent a bad name. It is time to sing and dance, and it is time for birthday bumps! thats the Texas spirit! We asked twelve renowned artists to illustrate their favorite Texas sayings, and we present as well a sample of other axioms and adages common to the statea collection of sayings as big as all hell and half of Texas. And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. Hell squeeze a nickel till the buffalo screams. for that one really miserly friend. Its better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.Thats close enough for government work.Might as well. Inspirational Birthday Quotes There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. This one's famous, y'all. Wishing a happy birthday to my beautiful wife, who never ceases to make each day the greatest! Happy 65th Birthday! I like it here in Austin. Have a wonderful birthday. I think Texans have more fun than the rest of the world Choreographer Tommy Tune. If you do use one, Id love if you linked or tagged me so I can enjoy your work! -Larry L. King, What do the Texans say? He could draw a pat hand from a stacked deck.He always draws the best bull.Hes riding a gravy train with biscuit wheels.He could sit on the fence and the birds would feed him. Dan Rather 0 Copy To me, it's really the heart of Texas. Happy birthday, friend! This aint my first rodeo. when youre really experienced at something! Shes frying size.Hes knee-high to a grasshopper.Hed have to stand up to look a rattler in the eye.About as big as the little end of nothing.Half as big as a minute.No bigger than moles on a chigger.Scrawny as Ace Reid cattle.Nothing between the horns and hooves but hide.Thin as a bars ear.Thin as a gnats whisker.Thin as store-bought thread.Thin as Depression soup.Thin as a fiddle string.Thin as a rake and twice as sexy.Flat as a fritter.Scarce-hipped.So skinny she has to stand twice to make a shadow.So skinny you could give her a Big Red and use her as a thermometer.So skinny she shades herself under the clothesline. -Time Blair, Some folks look at me and see a certain swagger, which in Texas is called walking. -George W. Bush, Texas is big now, but imagine the size of her as a republic. It congratulates you, on your arrival, at having escaped from the slop pails of the other 49 states. Alistair Cooke, Only Texas could turn defeat into a legenda song, a tourist attraction, and a major motion picture. Rosemary Kent, If a mans from Texas, hell tell you. Curtis Jackson, aka 50 Cent Funny Birthday Quotes. Showing search results for "Texas Birthday" sorted by relevance. I pay forWorld Nomads,and I happily recommend them. All over the world, traveling Texans tend to identify as Texan rather than American, because, well, we get treated like celebrities when we do. ~Elizabeth Abrahamsen, A Texan outside of Texas is a foreigner. John Steinbeck, Ive traveled all over the world, but I dont think there is any place better than Texas. -Red Adair, Screw you, were from Texas. ~Ray Wylie Hubbard, Id rather be a fencepost in Texas, than the king of Tennessee. Chris Wall, No place like Texas would I ever roam. 2. Buzzard bait.He gave up his guitar for a harp.He ate a bitter pill. Dan Solomon writes about politics, music, food, sports, criminal justice, health care, film, and business. Hes overdrawn at the memory bank. AnUnlockedCell Phoneso that you can use a local sim card while here to help navigate public transportation and when youre on the road. -Kelly Clarkson, Sectional football games have the glory and the despair of war, and when a Texas team takes the field against a foreign state, it is an army with banners. When Davy Crockett ran for a seat in Congress from Tennessee in 1835, he proclaimed that if he lost, the people in his district "may go to hell and I will go to Texas." -Markham Shaw Pyle, I highly enjoy the people down in that area. Above all, Texasis a nation in every sense of the word. In tall cotton.Running with the big dogs.He didnt come to town two to a mule.Shes got more than she can say grace over.So rich they can eat fried chicken all week long.Rich enough to eat her laying hens. Booth Tarkington The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. You cant share Texas quotes without sharing Texans quotes, right? It would be an honor to get dismembered by a chainsaw. Two tips on your birthday: 1) Forget the past, you can't change it. Youll also want to use these fabulous Texas puns! He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole in the crematorium. You dont just move into Texas. READ MORE. I love you so much, honey. Happy Birthday, my dearest sister. Scarce as hens teeth.Scarce as grass around a hog trough.Scarce as rain barrels. I felt a little guilty about jangling the poor buggers brains with that evil fantasy. 2. It proclaims them. But, few visitors know how to use it correctly. They don't treat beatniks too good in Texas. Wayne Chirisa. )Jugging and jawing.Commode-hugging, knee-walking drunk. After all, by the time they've turned 60, most people can take a good senior joke or two. It's your birthday! I'm so glad you never act your agelet's have some fun tonight! (Say what? A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away. The Lone Star State has inspired some truly beautiful travel quotes. People from all over the United States can pick Texas out on the map. I think you can see more sky in Texas than you can see anywhere else in the world. Idina Menzel, For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. John Steinbeck, Texans ignored better, long ago forgot the useless word good. Everything in Texas is best. Edward Smith, Never forget, son, when you represent Texas, always go first class.- James Michener, A born Texan has instilled in his system a mindset of no retreat and no surrender. 10. I wish everyone the world over had the dominating spirit that motivates Texans. Billy Clayton. The 80 Cute quotes for her; The 60 Best Get Well Soon Quotes For Him or Her. Hotter than a honeymoon hotel yeah, its hot! As welcome as an egg-sucking dog.As welcome as an outhouse breeze.As welcome as screwworm.As welcome as a porcupine at a nudist colony.As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party.As welcome as a wet shoe.As welcome as a tornado on a trail drive. Happy birthday. Here's to another year of pretending we have our lives together. We're coming for you! I thought it was a joke. There is a world of country to settle. Celebrate your birthday with the greatest joy for the priceless gift of life, be filled with joy that brings renewed strength. They dream big dreams and think big thoughts, because there is nothing to hem them in. Conrad Hilton, No matter where you go in East Texas, Deep East Texas is always about twenty miles further in than wherever you are. Markham Shaw Pyle.

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texas birthday quotes

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